And just like that my life came crashing down. My whole existence had been running, achieving, doing it all, never saying no & certainly never stopping for a second to just chill out.
Fast forward to January 2018. After months of not knowing why I was in so much pain I was told ‘you have cancer’. It’s even hard to write this seven months later because it takes me back to the lowest point in my life.
I had always been active until about November 2017, when the back and hip pain became next level. Two massage therapists, three chiropractors & several visits to my family doctor still didn’t result in any explanation. Not to mention the lump in my left breast that I had been told was nothing a year earlier, with not so much as a request for a follow up.
My husband and I went to NFLD (where I am from) for Christmas and I was almost immobilized with pain. Taking any prescription drugs family members could spare to dull my failing body so I could visit the family I rarely see proved unsuccessful.
Never Year’s Eve 2017 saw me in the emergency department hooked up to a pain med drip, which then led to an MRI five days later. And that’s when it happened. The new life began.
I could no longer walk freely from about January to March because as it turns out I had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. The cancer moved from my breast and made a new home in my bones. It collapsed three of my vertebrae by 80%, put several holes in my sacrum and created multiple fractures through the pelvis. In a nutshell, I am lit like a Christmas tree as I have bone mets throughout my whole core.
We began treatments immediately. We started with shutting down the ovaries (which are coming out permanently this fall) and started rounds of radiation, targeted hormonal therapy and a ‘take home’ chemo drug.
AND, surgery to my back in April FINALLY allowed the damage to start healing the bones. I graduated from my husband lifting me in to the bathtub to a walker, then a cane & finally walking again freely. I have never cried so much to be able to use my legs.
The day came where I finally got the confidence back to try a group class again. I always loved it so much! AND that first class back was with MISFITSTUDIO. I was nervous and spoke with Amanda before class to let her know that I may not make it through or may not be able to do the exercises. But I did it! Yes, with some modifications but I did it!
During the cool down…the tears came. I kept my head low so no one would see the emotion because how could they know what my life has been like these past seven months. The emotion was just so pure. It was ALL gratitude. I gave thanks to the universe, to God, and to my body for working with me. I felt alive.
NOW, I won’t stop moving because I had no idea what loosing the ability to move was like until it was gone. I am connecting. I am healing. Every. Single. Day.